Osho - Finger
Pointing to the Moon
Chapter 6. Life
Is An Opportunity
One who has attained oneness
with brahma, the absolute reality, while living, will remain so even after
leaving the body. Therefore, o innocent one! Becoming awakened be void of all
choice in duality.
When one sees the non-dual soul
through nirvikalpa samadhi – the choiceless awakening - that is the moment when
the knot of ignorance in the heart dissolves completely.
Consolidating the self-ness,
dropping the i-ness etcetera, exist with indifference to them, like with pots
and clothes, etc.
All titles - from brahma the
creator god, to a stone - are false. Therefore, rooted only in the soul, see
your own soul everywhere.
I myself am brahma - the
creator god; i myself am vishnu - the sustainer god; I myself am shiva - the
destroyer god; i myself am indra - the chief of all Gods; i myself am this
universe, and i myself am all. There is nothing other than myself.
Whatsoever is worth achieving
in life can be achieved only during the lifetime. But many people go on waiting
until after death. Many people think that how can truth, the divine, liberation
be achieved while still being in the body, in life, in the world. However, what
cannot be attained during life cannot be attained ever.
Life is an opportunity to
achieve, whether you spend it in collecting pebbles or in attaining to the
divine. Life is a completely neutral opportunity. Life does not tell you what
to achieve. If you collect pebbles, accumulate worthless things, or waste your
life in increasing and inflating your ego, life will not prevent you from doing
so. Or you may dedicate your life to attaining the truth, the self and the
ultimate depths of life; then too life will not object in your doing so.
Life is merely a neutral
opportunity - you may use it the way you like. But many people have made
arrangements to deceive themselves. They think, "Life is for worldly
pleasures." They have created such divisions: "Life is for bhoga,
indulgence." But then only death remains for yoga, union with the divine.
But death is not an opportunity. Let this be understood properly. Death is an
end of all opportunity.
What is the meaning of death?
Its meaning is that now there is no more opportunity left. Life is an
opportunity, death is the end of the opportunity. So nothing can be achieved
through death, because for achieving anything there should be a span of opportunity.
But we have divided: we say
life is for indulgence. But when life will be exhausted, then?... then yoga. We
have created all these stories that you utter into the ears of the dying person
at the time of death - when he will not even be able to hear. When living
persons do not listen, how would a dead or dying person hear a gayatri mantra,
or recite the name of the divine, or the chant "Rama, Rama"?
The person could not hear the
gayatri mantra his whole life, and even if he heard he did not listen, and even
if he heard he did not grasp.... That person at the time of death - when all
the senses will be failing; when the eyes won't see, the ears won't hear, the
hands won't touch; when life is disappearing back into its source - will he be
able to hear gayatri? No, he will not be able to hear.
But then why do people go on
uttering such things into his ears? There is a secret in it. That dying person
is unable to hear anything, but the living ones who are uttering it for him
remain under the assurance that at the time of their death somebody will utter
it for them - and the goal will be achieved. So they have invented stories of
this sort.
These dishonest people have
invented stories. They say, one person was dying and he had a son named
Narayana, one of the names for god, and he shouted aloud "Narayana"
to call him. Hearing this, the god Narayana, who is in heaven, was tricked. He
thought that he was being remembered.
The dying man was calling his
son, perhaps to advise the son in his last moments as to how to do
black-marketing or how to keep double accounts! But due to god Narayana's
misunderstanding the dying man went to heaven. He himself was surprised as to
how he arrived there. But his utterance of the name of Narayana at the time of
his death had managed the miracle. No, things cannot be managed so cheaply. And
a Narayana, who can be so easily deceived, will also be only a bogus Narayana.
Deceptions don't work in real
life; it is another matter that you may console your mind with such ideas.
Death is the end of
opportunity. Understand this meaning properly. Death is not yet another
opportunity for doing something. Death is the end of all opportunities; you
won't be able to do anything. There simply is no way of doing anything in
death. Doing means life, so whatsoever is to be done, it has to be done during
life.
In this sutra some beautiful
words have been used.
One who has attained oneness
with brahma, the absolute reality, while living, will remain so even after
leaving the body.
Only the one who has known his
self during his lifetime will remain as Brahma, the ultimate one, when his body
drops. Someone who has known his whole life that he is the body, he will become
unconscious while dying - he will go totally unconscious. Very few people die
consciously. Death happens in a kind of sleep, in an unconscious state. You are
not conscious while dying, otherwise you would be able to remember your
previous death. Whatever happens in unconsciousness does not remain in the
memory. That is why people do not know that they have been born many times and
they have died many times, because whenever they died they were unconscious.
And whosoever dies unconscious is born unconscious, because birth and death are
two polarities of the same thing.
A person dies here, this is one
end of the phenomenon; then the same person enters a womb somewhere, that is
the other end. Death and birth are two sides of the same coin.
One who dies unconscious is
born unconscious. Therefore you do not even know that you had died earlier. You
also do not know of your birth. This news of your birth is also given to you by
others. If there is no one to tell you that you were born, you will have no
remembrance of your own that you have been born. It is very interesting. That
you were born is definite. You may have died before or not, but the fact that
now you are born is definite - but you do not even have any memory of this.
This too you have heard from
your parents, from others.
The news of your own birth is a
rumor to you, you do not have any proof of it. There is no memory of it in your
consciousness. What may be the reason for it? You were born; birth is a big
event, and you have no knowledge of this big event.
Remember, one who does not know
about his birth will have great difficulty in knowing about his death while
dying. They are interconnected. Death has happened many times, but you have
died unconscious. Leave death aside; you are sleeping every day, the phenomenon
of sleep is happening every day, but do you know that just before sleep comes
you are losing your consciousness? Do you have any awareness of encountering
sleep? When sleep descends, are you able to see it descending? Up to the point
of sleep you are able to notice anything; you are still awake, sleep has not
descended yet. And the moment sleep descends you are lost. At the very
descending of sleep you lose consciousness.
When you are unable to remain
aware even in sleep, how are you going to remain aware in death?
Death is a very deep sleep, the
deepest sleep: it is very difficult to remain aware in it. You will die
unconscious. And in that unconsciousness, whoever is reciting the gayatri
mantra, whoever is chanting "Rama, Rama," you will know nothing of
it. And this unconsciousness is actually necessary.
Only those people are freed
from this unconsciousness who become free from their identification with the
body. Why? If a surgeon is operating on your stomach he will have to make you
unconscious because there will be so much pain that you will not be able to
tolerate it. You will shout, cry, shriek and shake and it will be almost
impossible to carry out the operation. The pain will be so much that you may
even go insane, your mind will never again be normal. This is why the surgeon
administers anaesthesia first and makes you unconscious, and then does the
surgery. Your body is cut, but then you do not know. And because you do not
know, you do not feel the pain.
Understand this properly. Pain
is not experienced because of pain, it is experienced because of knowing. When
the surgeon is operating the pain is there, but the only difference is that you
do not know it. The surgeon will cut you open and take out unwanted things, but
you will not know it. You will know the pain only when you regain your
consciousness. And when you know, you will experience the pain happening. In
your unconsciousness, even if limb after limb is cut - you are cut to pieces -
you will not know.
However, the surgeon is doing a
small operation, whereas death is a very big operation. There is no bigger
operation than death. The surgeon is merely cutting away a limb or two, but
death has to cut away and separate your body from you. You cannot be kept
conscious in such a big operation, therefore death has forever used the natural
anaesthesia. As soon as death approaches you fall unconscious. In that
unconsciousness, the world's biggest surgery happens, the separation of your
body from your soul.
But a person can die without
becoming unconscious. Nature allows a person to die consciously who has come to
know that he is not the body. Why? Because then, when the body is being cut
off, he does not identify with the body. He goes on watching from a distance -
he can watch from a distance because he knows that something else is being cut:
"I am not being cut, I am watching it, I am only a witness." Whenever
such a realization becomes crystalized, nature gives such a person the
opportunity to die consciously. But this happens at a much later stage. First
one has to learn to sleep consciously, and that too comes later; first one has
to learn to be conscious while awake.
One who is conscious while
awake slowly learns how to sleep consciously. One who lives consciously one day
dies consciously. One who dies consciously is able to know that he has become
one with Brahma, the ultimate reality. But first one has to know this in the
consciousness hidden within one's own body. Then one day this outer pot also
breaks and the inner sky merges with the vast sky.
One who dies consciously passes
through wonderful experiences. Death does not feel like an enemy to him. Death
feels like a friend to him. Death feels like a great union with the divine,
with the vast. One who dies consciously can also take a new birth consciously.
One who is born consciously, his life is altogether different because he does
not repeat the same things over and over again which he has repeated many times
before. All that becomes foolish and meaningless to him.
His life becomes something new,
his life enters new dimensions. And his witnessing is continuous; one who was a
witness at the time of birth, one who was a witness at the time of a previous
death, he remains a witness throughout his life.
Thus in only one death you can
die fully conscious, and in only one birth you can be fully conscious; thereafter
the cycle of birth and death ceases. Thereafter you disappear from the world of
bodies.
For this phenomenon of
disappearance, in India we have devised a very beautiful word: kaivalya.
This is a wonderful word.
Kaivalya means, "I am alone. Only I am and there is nothing else; only I,
only consciousness, only the soul, nothing else; only the watcher, only the
witness, nothing else; all else is a game, all else is a dream. The truth is
only the witnessing consciousness. Only the seer is the truth, the seen is not
the truth." Kaivalya is the name given to this experience.
Let us understand this a
little. You were a child, then you became a youth, and then you became old.
Childhood went away and youth came, youth went away and old age came. This
means you are nothing but a constant change. Neither childhood remains, nor
youth, nor old age - everything changes. But is there anything within you that
does not change? You were miserable, then you became happy; you were happy,
then you became miserable; you were peaceful, then you became unpeaceful; you
were unpeaceful, then you became peaceful - everything changes. You were rich,
you became poor; you were poor, you became rich - everything changes. But is
there any one thing within you that does not change?
If there is not such a thing
within you, then you simply are not there at all. Then what is the meaning of
your being there? Who will then thread together your childhood, your youth and
your old age - like a string of a necklace. A necklace is a necklace only when
its beads are threaded together on a string. If there is no string inside to
thread them all together and only the beads are there, then not only the
necklace will not be there but also all the beads will be scattered.
Your childhood is there like a
bead, your youth is there like a bead, your old age is there like a bead - but
where is the string on which these are all threaded together? Where is that
continuity factor?
And that continuity factor is
the truth. All else changes. India's definition is that whatever changes, we
call it a dream. Let this be understood properly.
We have our own definition of
the word dream. Whatsoever changes, we call it a dream, and what never changes,
we call it the truth. So the childhood passes off, like a dream; youth passes
off, like a dream; happiness comes and goes, unhappiness comes and goes; just
as dreams disappear, everything goes on disappearing. Therefore, the seers of
India say, it is a vast dream spread all around you.
There are two types of dreams.
One type is your personal dreams, the ones you see in your sleep during the
night. The other type is the common dream which you see while awake during the
day.
But there is no difference
between the two, because they both are changing. The dreams of the night are falsified
by the morning, and the dreams of life are falsified by death. A moment comes
when all that was seen becomes useless. Is there any truth then? But even for
the existence of dreams there has to be the base of truth. Even for the change
there has to be some base which does not change - otherwise change is not
possible. Where is that base? It is within us. The sutra of the sage says:
witnessing is the base.
You saw your childhood; the
childhood has changed but the seer within you is unchanged. Then came youth and
you saw it; then the youth also went away but the one who saw it is unchanged.
It is the same seer who saw the
childhood, who saw the youth, who saw the old age; who saw the birth, who saw
the death; who saw the happiness, who saw the unhappiness; who saw the success
and failure. Everything changes, only the one who goes on seeing, who goes on
experiencing everything, does not change.
It is this seer whom we know as
the soul; it is the truth. To know this one, the unchanging, is kaivalya.
Kaivalya is experienced the day
a person, separating himself from all the dreams, separating himself from all
the beads, comes to know himself as the string running through them all; the
day he comes to know that "This uninterrupted consciousness, this witnessing
spirit, this is what I am; I am only this consciousness." When such a
realization becomes a crystalized experience - not a thought but an experience;
not a word but a realization - we call such a person the one who has attained
to kaivalya. He has known the one that is worth knowing, he has achieved the
one that is worth achieving. And in having achieved that one alone, he achieves
everything; and in having lost that one alone, he loses everything.
We try to catch dreams, but
even before we have any grip on them they are lost and our fist remains empty.
In the night we saw that we were emperors; in the morning our hands are empty.
In life we see we have become this, we have become that; at the time of death
our hands are empty.
Whosoever we had held as our
own - on whosoever we had closed our fist - they disappeared like the air from
one's fist would. The fist closes and the air disappears from it. Everything
proves to be a dream.
Remember, our very meaning of
'dream' is only this, that wherever there is change, there is no truth.
What is that which is
non-changing and uniform? You go on searching in this world and nowhere will
you find that uniform, non-changing truth. Only when you search within yourself
will you find in the watcher that continuity, that integrity which is uniform.
That is known as kaivalya. If you know that one while living, then at death, on
the dropping of the body, the oneness with Brahma, the absolute reality, is
experienced.
Therefore, o innocent one!
Becoming awakened be void of all choice in duality.
How shall we be able to know
the one? The process is: be void of all vikalpa, all choice in duality.
This word vikalpa is also worth
understanding. Vikalpa means all the things that have their opposites - those
opposites are the vikalpa. For example, happiness, its opposite is unhappiness.
If you want happiness, you will also get unhappiness. You will have to bear it.
That is the price one has to pay for the happiness. If you want love you will
have to encounter hate also, that is the price. If you want success, failure
will also come your way; it is the shadow of success, it comes along with it.
Vikalpa means the world of duality, where everything is in two parts; you
desire the one and you are bound to be entangled in the other too. There is no
way to be saved from this situation.
The only way to be saved from
it is to give up both, to become choiceless. That means wherever there is
duality do not choose, drop all choosing.
Understand this a little more,
because it is a matter that takes one very deep. Wherever there is a
possibility of two - whenever...! If you want peace, you will continue getting
caught up in peacelessness. This is a little difficult to understand. We can
understand dualities of happiness and unhappiness, success and failure, respect
and disrespect; but I say peace and peacelessness too.
It is the same thing, a matter
of duality. Not only this: if you want liberation, you will go on falling in
bondage because duality is the same here too, the opposites are facing each
other here too, the possibility of choice is the same. So a person who says he
wants liberation, he will be entrapped.
Liberation comes to one who
does not choose between dualities; peace belongs to one who does not choose
between the dualities - who does not ask for peace. Who says,"Peace or
turmoil, I am not going to choose between the two" - such a man becomes
peaceful. The flower of love blossoms in the life of one who does not choose
love against hatred; who says, "Neither I want love nor hatred, I am
indifferent to both; I beg to be forgiven for both, I do not want to meddle in
either of the two."
The flower of love blooms in
the life of such a person.
Wherever there is duality,
wherever there is vikalpa - the option - wherever there is the possibility of
choice, do not choose. But we always choose! And we are unable to understand
that our choice is the very entanglement. When you choose happiness you have
also chosen unhappiness, the unhappiness has already arrived, the unhappiness
also has already entered your door. Why?
Understand the process. I
desire happiness - this desire implies several things. One, it implies that I
am unhappy now. Only the one who is unhappy wants happiness. Why would a happy
person desire happiness? We ask only for that which we do not have, we do not
ask for that which we already have. This is why nobody asks for unhappiness,
because everybody already has it. People ask for happiness because they do not
have it. So the day you say you want happiness you have made at least one thing
clear - that you are unhappy.
Secondly, whatever happiness
you are asking for, if you don't achieve it you will slip into deeper
unhappiness - and there is no guarantee of achieving this happiness. And if you
do achieve it, still you will later slip into unhappiness because now you have
come to know how many dreams you had arranged around it and none of them were
fulfilled.
All happiness appears to be in
the distance, in the future, but as you come closer it disappears.
As long as happiness is not
yours it is happiness, as it becomes yours it turns into unhappiness.
Happiness is in the distance.
Happiness is not in things, it is in the distance, it is in your hope, it is in
your waiting. When it comes, or as it comes closer, it begins to disappear, and
by the time it is in your hands it becomes unhappiness.
Neither happiness nor
unhappiness is inherent in anything. The greater the distance, the greater
appears the happiness; as it comes closer, the greater the unhappiness. This is
a very complex trap. Whatsoever we bring close, unhappiness begins to breed out
of it. The more we ask for happiness.... One, you will not get it, because
nothing is received by asking; and when you will not get it, you will be
frustrated. Second, even if you did get it you will also be encountering
failure, and an emptiness will surround you, that all your efforts have turned
futile, nothing really has been achieved; one rushed around, labored hard, and
all that is received is this? What appeared to be so glittering from a
distance.... Any music at a distance sounds celestial.
If you make a choice you will
become entangled in the world. The world is in choosing, liberation is in
non-choosing. Just do not choose. When happiness comes, accept it; when unhappiness
comes, accept it, but do not have any choice within that, "I want
this." One who does not put forward any demand in this world becomes free
of this world. Let this sink a little deeper in you. One who does not ask for
anything from the world cannot be entrapped by the world. If you ask for
anything from this world you are entrapped. If you get what you ask of the
world you are entrapped. If you do not get it, then too you are entrapped. You
are entrapped because of the very asking, it has nothing to do with gaining it
or not gaining it.
Fishermen attach bait to their
fishing hooks. Only that fish will be safe from the hook which will not open
her mouth at all. The fish that opened her mouth is hooked. A fish will open
her mouth only for the bait; no fish is so foolish as to open its mouth for the
hook. All fish will open their mouth for the bait, and that is why a fisherman
will just sit waiting after putting his line in the water. A fish is entrapped
because of the bait.
Everybody wants happiness, and
the hook of unhappiness comes out of the happiness. Everybody desires respect,
and the hook of disrespect appears out of the very respect. Everyone wants
peace, and the very peace becomes turmoil. Think of the fish which does not
choose either of the two - the bait or the hook - which simply swims past this
bait indifferently. It is impossible to catch this fish.
Be in the world like this fish
which does not choose, which does not ask. Then there can be no bondage for
you, you cannot be trapped.
To become a sannyasin means
giving up all choosing of options. So remember, sannyas is not a choice against
the world. And those people who have given sannyas a meaning of being against
the world will remain entangled in the world.
There are people who say,
"Sannyas is against the world; and we are in the world - how can we take
sannyas? We shall take sannyas when we renounce the world." Their sannyas
is also a duality.
Sannyas and the world for them
are two sides, opposites. They say if they choose the world, how can they
choose sannyas also? Or if they choose sannyas, how can they choose the world
also?
If sannyas too is a duality,
then all meaning of sannyas is lost. The very meaning of sannyas is to become
non-dualistic. Now we do not choose! Whatsoever happens is accepted, what does
not happen is not demanded. Such a state of being is sannyas. Then you can be a
sannyasin anywhere.
Then sannyas is a state of
being, not an alternative choice.
This sutra says:
Therefore, o innocent one!
Becoming awakened be void of all choice in duality.
Awakening happens only when one
becomes void of all choice in duality.
When one sees the non-dual soul
through nirvikalpa samadhi - the choiceless awakening - that is the moment when
the knot of ignorance in the heart dissolves completely.
There are two types of
awakening. One is savikalpa samadhi, the choiceful awakening. It is awakening
just in the name. Savikalpa samadhi - choiceful awakening - means that someone
chose to become peaceful. Understand this properly.
Often this is what people
choose first. When they are too hurt by the world they become disturbed,
restless, and then they think to attain peace through meditation. They choose
peace against the turmoil. They do begin finding peace through meditation, but
deep within this peace remains hidden the face of peacelessness. That
alternative will always be present there, because in the first place you have
chosen peace against turmoil. You cannot be free of the opposite of that which
you have chosen, it will remain present. At the most what can happen is that
the side you have chosen may come out on top and the side you have not chosen
may remain at the bottom - but it cannot be destroyed.
Choice can never take one out
of a duality, the duality will remain there. You may choose, but because of the
very fact of choosing its opposite remains present. So you may even become peaceful,
but your peace will be only on the surface. Your being peaceful will be on the
surface and the turmoil will remain hidden within. And you will always be in
fear of the turmoil exploding any moment. The seed of turmoil will remain and
the fear of its sprouting will also remain.
This is why people run away
from the world, because in the world they are afraid of the turmoil that
remains hidden within themselves, which is likely to explode at any moment if
somebody incites it a little.
A person escaping toward the
jungle is not running away from you, he is running away from the turmoil hidden
within himself. If he appears to be running away from you, it is just because
of the fear that you may expose the inner layer of his turmoil. A husband
escaping toward the jungle is not running away from his wife but from the
celibacy that he has imposed upon himself. The sexuality is still hidden inside
him, because anybody who understood celibacy to be against sexuality cannot be
free from the seeds of sexuality. One who chooses will remain tied to the
opposite.
The very meaning of choosing is
that we are choosing against something. And whatsoever we have chosen against
will continue to follow us. Whatever we have arranged on the surface, below it
is present that against which we have chosen - because that too is part of it.
In fact, we have divided life
into two parts - one we have chosen, the other we have not - whereas they are
both integral parts. Where will the part we have not chosen go? It will remain
with us. And then you will be afraid that if you are with people, if you have a
family, a business, and are in the marketplace, the part which is hidden within
you will pop out just at the slightest investigation by somebody. Hence, run
away! Run away to a place where nobody can make us see what is hidden within.
But that will not destroy it. One may live in the Himalayas for a thousand
years, but the day he returns to the marketplace he will find that those
thousand years have been wasted. The marketplace will again incite what is
hidden inside and it will come out in the open.
Choiceful awakening means you
have become silent by choice.
Choiceless awakening means you
have dropped all choosing. Only the choiceless awakening - which means one does
not divide things in two parts - is an awakening. The choiceful awakening is
nothing but a deception of awakening. But one first comes toward the choiceful
awakening; one chooses sannyas frustrated by the world. It is only natural,
tormented by the world one chooses sannyas.
The second thing will happen
only when one will get tired of sannyas also, when one will experience that
like any two opposites, sannyas and the world are also two parts of the same
symphony. That day the real sannyas will flower. That day one will not choose.
That day one will drop choosing as such. That day one will understand, "In
choosing is the world, and hence I do not choose anymore.
Now whatsoever happens, I
accept it; what does not happen, I am not concerned by it. Now I am willing, in
whatsoever way existence cares for me I am willing.... Now there is no voice of
mine whatsoever against existence. Now if unhappiness comes, the right thing is
happening. If happiness comes, the right thing is happening. Now I do not
separate myself and say that it should happen only in a certain way. Now I have
no expectations, demands and claims of my own. I have given up claims."
The day one gives up claims the
choiceless awakening happens. That day there remains no bondage for you in this
world. Even if the whole world becomes a shackle and tightens itself around
your body like an octopus, there will be no bondage, because you accept that
too, it is okay.
If someone puts chains on my
hands, remember the chains are not a bond because the one who puts them on my
hands believes it so, it is a bond only if I believe it to be a bond. It can be
a bondage only if I believe it to be so. It will all depend on my belief. I can
stretch my hands forward and ask to have the chains put on my hands.
There is a very interesting and
lovely event in the life of Ramakrishna. From his very childhood Ramakrishna
was a person with a mind drawn towards the divine. It was difficult for him to
reach home if he had to pass by a temple. He would dance there, lie down there,
flat on the steps of the temple; and if someone uttered the name of Rama, he
would be in a sort of trance. So the members of his family thought that this
boy would not live a worldly life, there was no such hope.
However, it was the duty of his
parents, when he came of age, to ask him whether he would marry.
They asked him,
"Rama" - his real, given name was Gadadhar - "will you
marry?" They had thought that Ramakrishna would refuse. But Ramakrishna
was delighted at the question and said, "What is marriage and what is it
like? I will certainly do it!" The parents were taken aback. They had
thought that the boy was of a sannyasin nature and that he would not marry, but
what is this? They began to search for a bride.
A bride was selected, she was
quite young in age still, she was about eight to ten years younger than
Ramakrishna. Ramakrishna went to see the girl. The members of his family also
accompanied him.
Ramakrishna's mother had put
three rupees in his pocket in case he may need them for anything.
The bride's village was not
very far though. Ramakrishna was given new clothes and was groomed for the
occasion. On reaching the village he saw the girl; she was very lovely.
Ramakrishna put those three rupees at her feet and touched her feet. All who
saw that happening were embarrassed and said, "Are you mad? She is going
to be your wife, and you are touching her feet! And why have you presented her
with those three rupees?"
Ramakrishna said, "She
looks as lovely as my mother." Ramakrishna knew of only one love, the love
of the mother. He said, "She is so lovely, just like my mother! I shall
only call her 'mother'. What difference does it make if she is also a
wife?"
Later they were married, but
Ramakrishna always addressed Sharda as "Mother" and he continued to
touch her feet. And when the day for the worship of the mother goddess Kali
arrived, Ramakrishna would seat Sharda on a throne and worship her. He would
say, "When there is the living mother, what is the need of an idol?"
Having a wife was not a bondage. He never looked on her as a bondage. He just
stretched forward his hands and took the shackles.
Everything depends upon your
attitude. Unhappiness is unhappiness because you reject it and you desire
happiness. Unhappiness is because you desire its opposite, otherwise what is the
unhappiness? Unhappiness is hidden in your demand for the opposite. What is the
peacelessness?
Peacelessness is because you
desire peace.
Our world lies in our choice.
This sutra says: Whosoever
becomes choiceless sees the non-dual soul, because the one who does not choose
in the outside world - neither happiness nor unhappiness, neither love nor
hate, neither the world nor liberation, neither matter nor God - who simply
does not choose, with whom all choosing has ceased, he immediately reaches
within himself.
It is in the choosing that the
consciousness becomes stuck. We get stuck in what we choose. When one simply
does not choose, all blockage is destroyed; his contact with the shore is
broken and his contact with the midstream begins, he merges with the stream
within.
He who attains to
choicelessness sees the soul, and then the knot of ignorance in the heart is
completely destroyed.
Consolidating the self-ness,
dropping the i-ness etcetera, exist with indifference to them, like with pots
and clothes, etc.
Understand this word udasin,
indifferent, also. Udasin, indifferent, does not mean remaining udas, sad.
Udasin means to live unconcerned, to live purposelessly. The word udasin has
done a lot of harm. There is a sect of udasin sannyasins. They remain in
self-imposed sadness because they think udasinata, indifference, means udasi,
sadness.
Indifference has nothing to do
with sadness; the relationship is only in the sound of the words.
Indifferent means, "I keep
no choices. Whatsoever is happening, let it happen. Not udasi, sadness, but
udasinata, indifference. It is all fine, whatsoever takes place is fine."
It is just as one lives in a house - the examples taken in this sutra are pots,
clothes, belongings, etc. in the house - and one goes on moving in and out of
the house with ease. If a pot is lying around it is lying around, one does not
need to take note of it. If clothes are hanging in the house they are hanging;
one passes by these things, one does not need to pay special attention to them.
Similarly, within us our egos
are hanging, along with unhappiness, happiness, agonies and anxieties, memories
of happiness and unhappiness - they are all lying there within us. These are
like inner household goods - pots, vessels, clothes, etc. Pass through them in
a way that all is fine, whatever is is fine. No need to pay attention to them,
no need to choose from them, no need to be attracted to one thing and repulsed
by some other - this is what is meant by indifference.
An indifferent person is very
cheerful, not sad. But keep in mind the meaning of being cheerful.
Being cheerful means that
nothing now disturbs him, and hence the inner flower begins to bloom; nothing
now bothers him, hence he remains in bliss within himself.
If you forcibly impose sadness
upon yourself you will never be able to be cheerful. One has to become
indifferent. Try it out by experimenting....
You are walking down a road:
decide to remain indifferent to everything you come across for five minutes.
Then which house is beautiful, which is not, it is all the same. Then whoever
passes by, he was a rich man or poor, he was a respectable person or a
disreputable person, he was a political leader or a thief - whoever he was, you
have nothing to do with it. A beautiful woman passed by, a handsome man passed
by, somebody's dress was elegant - you are not concerned with any of these
matters. Walk down the road for five minutes as if it is totally empty, or you
are passing through a jungle and there is nothing to attract you. Try this out
- just remaining indifferent - and you will immediately notice that the road
has lost all meaning. Its meaningfulness was in your inner attachments.
In a memoir that Vidyasagar has
written he has said that one evening he had gone for a walk and he saw a
Mohammedan gentleman walking ahead of him. He too was going for a walk every
day. Suddenly a servant came running - Vidyasagar was walking just behind - and
said to that Mohammedan friend, "Mir Sahib! Your house is on fire, please
come fast." Mir Sahib replied, "I am coming." But he kept on
walking at the same pace; the same movement of the legs, the same unhurried
steps - nothing changed in him. Hearing the news of the fire, even Vidyasagar's
walking speed changed, his breathing became faster. But Mir Sahib continued to
walk in the same indifferent way.
The servant was puzzled, he
said again a little louder, "Didn't you hear? Your house is on fire!"
Mir Sahib said, "I have heard," and he continued walking in the same
nonchalant manner. Vidyasagar then came forward and said, "What are you
doing? Do you understand what the servant is saying, that your house is on
fire?" Mir Sahib told Vidyasagar, "That is alright, but what can I do
now after the house is on fire? Why should I spoil my walk also? And I have
this one opportunity - if I can carry on my walk unhindered by the fact of my
house being on fire, I shall have a taste of indifference.
The house is on fire, okay, but
I shall walk in the same way as I was walking before the house was on fire. If
I change my gait even slightly, that will be a change in my consciousness... so
it is alright."
And Mir Sahib continued walking
in the same way.
Vidyasagar has written further
that he and Mir Sahib's servant ran to the burning house, leaving Mir Sahib
with his walk. "We had become very upset and on reaching the house we
helped to extinguish the fire." And Vidyasagar says he could not sleep
well that night. But by the unperturbed attitude of Mir Sahib that he had seen
that day, it is very clear that Mir Sahib must have slept peacefully that night
too. What difference would there have been? A person whose walking speed was no
different - how could there be any difference in his sleep?
Indifference means a neutral
attitude. Whatsoever is happening is alright, it is accepted; there is a state
of suchness, there is no choosing of any kind. Restlessness is not caused by
the fact that the house is on fire. Try to understand it, restlessness is
caused by the expectation that, "My house should not be on fire."
There is this hidden expectation that your house should not have been on fire.
You may not even be aware of it, it is hidden in the unconscious mind, that your
house should not have been on fire. So when the house is on fire, that inner
expectation is shattered and that unsettles your gait, that unsettles your
consciousness. But those who have no expectations of any kind, and whatsoever
happens they have no attitude and insistence against it, their consciousness
does not become unsettled. This unwavering of the consciousness is udasinata,
the indifference.
All titles - from brahma, the
creator god, to a stone - are false. Therefore, rooted only in the soul see
your own soul everywhere.
All positions, all titles and
all reputations are false and artificial. Whether it is a stone lying on the
roadside or the god installed by us up in the sky, all are useless.
Remain attentive only to one
that is not false, remain absorbed in that witnessing alone. So even if you are
a stone, remain absorbed in the same witnessing, and even if you are Brahma,
the creator god, remain absorbed in the same witnessing. Then no choosing will
be necessary between becoming a stone or Brahma, because the witnessing is one
and the same. If you are poor, remain absorbed in the witnessing; if you become
rich, remain absorbed in the witnessing. Then poverty and richness will make no
difference to you, because within you the same stream of witnessing will be
flowing.
All titles are futile. All that
is received from the outside is futile. Only what is attained from within is
meaningful. But nothing other than the witnessing consciousness is attained
from within. In all conditions, in every situation, go on seeing the soul
residing within.
I myself am brahma - the
creator god; I myself am vishnu - the sustainer god; I myself am shiva - the
destroyer god; I myself am indra - the chief of all gods; I myself am this
universe, and I myself am all. There is nothing other than myself.
The same kaivalya attitude -
the one who experiences this consciousness, the one who knows this witnessing,
'the other' disappears from him. The other is no longer there, only I am,
everything is my own extension. Because the day I come to know my own
consciousness, I also come to know that your consciousness is not separate from
mine. As long as I know only my body you are separate from me, because my body
is separate and your body is separate.
Understand it this way. There
is an earthen lamp burning, there is another silver lamp burning, and a third
gold lamp is burning. Now if all these three lamps look to their bodies of
clay, silver and gold, then the three of them are different. The silver lamp
will look down upon the earthen lamp and the gold lamp will look down upon both
the silver and the earthen lamps. But if anyone of these three lamps
experiences the flame - "I am the flame" - would that lamp be able to
say to the other lamps, "You are different from me?" No, because now
it will see the other lamps as flames too. Now for this lamp the bodies have
become meaningless, whether they are of clay, silver or gold. Now only the
flame has remained meaningful, which is neither clay, nor silver, nor gold, but
simply a flame. For the lamp that has experienced that it is the flame, all the
lamps of the world have become one with it: "Now wherever there is flame,
it is me."
As long as we see the bodies,
we are separate. But when we have seen the witness within, which is our eternal
flame, we all become one and inseparable. Then the witness hiding within that
bird flying near the tree, that too is me. And the witness hidden within
Brahma, the creator of the world and the controller of the world, that too is
me. Then the one who is begging on the street is also me and the emperor
sitting on the throne is also me.
Once the experience of the
inner flame has begun forms become meaningless; then body, matter, become
meaningless, only the flame becomes meaningful.
One more interesting thing is
that whether the lamp is made of clay or gold, there is no difference in the
flame. Does an earthen lamp have an earthen flame? or a gold lamp a gold flame?
No, there is no difference - the flame is a flame, the same everywhere. The
body makes no difference to the flame. It is the same flame shining in the most
ignorant as in Buddha. But Buddha knows it and the ignorant do not. And what
really is the difference in knowing? Buddha has stopped bothering about the
outer form of the lamp and has discovered the inner flame; the ignorant person
is still influenced by the outer form - in the clay, silver or gold body - and
has not yet been able to know the flame within. But the flame is there.
It is 'I' spread out in all -
such a realization is adhyatma, spirituality.
There are two or three
important things to be mentioned. The very first day I asked you to remain
cheerful, joyful, happy and laughing; to laugh as much as you could - even
without any reason.
But one thing I had left out
knowingly. I had not asked you not to laugh without any reason while I am
speaking. This part I had left out knowingly. I wanted to discover those three
or four intelligent persons that must have certainly come here - they would
laugh even while I am speaking. And due to their laughter, they would be
deprived of understanding what I am saying and would hinder others also. And my
inference is not incorrect.
Three or four intelligent
people are here. One or two of them are from the Punjab. I used to hear that
people in the Punjab have a little extra intelligence, but I had never believed
in it. Even now I do not believe, though those two Punjabi friends are trying
hard to make me believe in it! That is alright, but I had never thought that in
their company two or three Gujaratis would also do the same! There was no hope
for much intelligence from the Gujaratis, but they are competing with the
Punjabis.
Even in idiocy there is
competition! And remember, it is always easy to move to one extreme, but the
question is of staying in the middle. Either people will sit keeping their
faces and features corpse-like, or they will start expressing cheerfulness idiotically.
That too is not cheerfulness.
If you make loud sounds without
any reason while I am speaking, you have no idea what you are doing. You are
only attracting people's attention, telling them that you are also here. That
is not showing wisdom and it is not going to benefit your meditation in any
way. When I am speaking, that is the time to become silent and quiet, putting
aside all the activities of your mind, so that what I am saying may penetrate
you. If I am saying something and you laugh loudly without any reason, then
whatsoever was entering in will be pushed out by the force of your laughter.
You threw it out. So move a little thoughtfully. If you don't move thoughtfully
you will never be able to go deeper.
The second thing: yesterday I
had sent instructions that only during morning meditation you can undress
completely if you feel like it - it is useful. But it is not useful at all
during the afternoon kirtan, devotional singing and dancing, and the meditation
at night. For me, neither clothes nor nudity are of any significance - take
note of it. Many times it is misunderstood. Many times it is felt that perhaps
I am saying that if you become naked you attain liberation. It is not so easy,
otherwise all the birds and animals would have been liberated by now. And if
liberation is just withheld because of wearing clothes, then there is not much
difficulty in making the whole world liberated by making it naked. No, it is
not so easy and so cheap.
When I say that in some moment
during meditation, if you feel that your clothes are obstructing you - in the
movements of your body, in the expression - remove your clothes; then nakedness
will be helpful. But there might be some fools, in fact there are... some fools
cling to clothing, and some fools start clinging to nudity. They think that now
that they are standing naked nothing else remains to be done. So I see some one
or two persons, who do not do any steps of the meditation either, just standing
naked - and they think this is enough.
Nothing is going to happen by
just becoming naked. And I have no emphasis on nakedness. Both the emphases are
the same. Some people think that if you remove all the clothes from your body,
your life is finished; and some think that if you remove all your clothes, you
attain everything - their minds also attach great value to clothing. The types
are similar. People covered by clothes and the naked monks - they are similar,
their minds are the same. There is no great difference between the two. They
both believe that clothes are important.
I do not tell you to remove
your clothes because in being naked you will attain liberation. Naked you
already are - under your clothes you are naked. What difference is it going to
make whether you are naked without your clothes or you are naked within your
clothes? When I permit you to take off your clothes, it means if and when,
during meditation, you feel the usefulness of removing clothes, when your body
energy awakens, when your bio-energy awakens due to the deep hammering from
your breathing and you feel that clothes are hindering you in any way, only
then take off your clothes, otherwise there is no sense in doing so. And there
is no need at all to take off your clothes in the afternoon kirtan, nor is
there any need to do so in the meditation at night. And if anybody persists
during afternoon kirtan or the night-time meditation we will have him removed
from the campus.
In the morning meditation it
has a scientific basis. When there is deep breathing and the body energy starts
arising vigorously, the clothing may create a hindrance. Then it is fine to
remove your clothes. And then during the second step of this meditation, where
I am telling you to drop all kinds of suppression and not to refrain from
anything your body-mind feels like doing, then if it feels like taking off the
clothing, do so. But there is no need in the kirtan or in the night meditation.
Do not make nudity a doctrine;
nudity is a device.
The third thing: some Western
men and women sannyasins might be taking a bath naked at the well, then some
Indian friends crowd there to watch them. Don't be so foolish. If you want to
bathe naked, do so. But when someone else is taking a bath naked and you go to
watch them, you are only demonstrating your numerous suppressed and sick attitudes.
There are two types of mad
people. One mad type is made up of those who want to watch others naked; and
there is also the other type who want to show themselves naked. Psychology has
different names for the sicknesses of all these mad people. In the West, they
have many cases in the courts against such people who suddenly expose
themselves to somebody. They are called exhibitionists. Two or three such
friends have arrived here; their whole joy seems to be that others should see
their bodies. And usually these are people whose bodies are not worth seeing.
If they were worth seeing people would come to them to see their bodies. Those
whose bodies are not worth seeing are the people who stand naked in a crowd;
nobody goes to see them, but they think at least this way someone may see them.
Such people with these sicknesses have no reason to be here.
And then there are some people
who engage themselves in watching others when they are naked.
They are also sick! If you have
a liking for someone, if you are in love with someone and there is such a close
intimacy, then the clothes drop on their own and they are naked. But in that
love they do not feel naked, they feel closer, the obstruction of the clothes
has gone. But to just go and watch someone who is naked and with whom you have
no loving intimacy is very dirty and mean and speaks only of your hidden
sickness.
While I was coming here, with
me in the car was one English sannyasin, Vivek. When the car stopped at a
corner, four or five donkeys came and stood by the car. I asked Vivek whether
in England there were bigger donkeys than these standing here or were they the
same as these?
She replied, "Slightly
bigger." I did not say anything else to her, because I was just joking.
But then yesterday I was informed that people are gathering in a crowd near the
well when people are bathing. So I am going to tell her today that she was
mistaken, it is difficult to compete with India, the donkeys are bigger in
India.
The fourth thing: after the
thirty minutes of the meditation, when I ask you to be quiet, to be silent,
then if you are unable to become quiet and silent it only means that you are
not doing any meditation, you are just hysterical. Understand this difference
clearly. When I say, "Breathe fast and intensely for ten minutes,"
you should be your own master and be able to do so. When I say, "Go mad
for ten minutes," you should have the mastery to go mad also - you are
being mad decisively, madness is not taking you over. You are throwing out the
suppressions from within yourself, at your will. And when I say, "Make the
hammering sound of 'Hoo-Hoo' for ten minutes," You are doing it - it
should not catch hold of you, otherwise you have become a slave. And then when
I say, "Stop completely!" one who cannot stop is hysterical. It means
that the matter is not under his control, now he is unable to stop it; he is
going on shouting, he is going on crying. It means crying has overpowered him.
This will not do. Such a person
is sick, he is not meditating.
Meditation means, you are to
establish your mastery. And if this mastery cannot be established then there
would be no difference between hysteria and meditation. So when I say
"Stop!" you are to stop at once. Even a moment's delay in it shows
that you have lost your mastery and whatever you were doing in that moment has
become the master. If you were shouting, it has caught you and you are unable
to stop it. If shouting catches you and you are unable to drop it, then you
won't be able to enter into peace.
Mastery leads you into peace.
There are three or four persons
who simply do not stop even after I have asked everyone to stop.
They think that they have gone
so deep in meditation, now how can they stop. You have not gone into
meditation! And if this is done again today I shall ask them to be removed,
because they need medical treatment, not meditation. And after thirty minutes,
when you think that now a cough is coming or something else like that, please
don't be confused. Coughing is an infectious phenomenon. One person coughs, and
then five to ten idiots follow him. The first person's coughing may have been
genuine, but the other five to ten persons are simply following him. Did you
notice last night - the coughing also stopped? Now how did this happen? When I
asked you not to even cough, how did it stop? Because it was false.
Coughing is also not permitted.
Just try experimenting with it; you won't die by not coughing for ten minutes.
You have no idea how many tricks your mind plays. The mind says, "A really
bad cough is forcing its way, I will cough just slightly." You succeeded
in hindering it slightly, but you coughed. You thought, "But what can I
do? - coughing is compulsive." No, it is not compulsive.
Do you notice that when I speak
here for one and a half hours that you do not cough even once, and when I ask
you to be quiet for ten minutes, you are suddenly overpowered by coughing? If
the coughing was genuine, it should have been present in the same proportion
throughout the period.
But it is not so. You are
sitting in a movie house, and there will be no coughing for three hours.
What really happens? Then you
go to a temple and the coughing takes over! Are there some cough germs sitting
in the temple or what? Coughing in a movie house can be understood, there
certainly are germs there in abundance. But it happens in the temple, where
everything is spotless, clean.
The reason is psychological.
This coughing that comes to you is not physical, it is mental; stop it!
Stop it absolutely! What can
really go wrong in ten minutes? At the most you may die... although it has
never been heard of that someone did not cough for ten minutes and died because
of it. One may have died because of coughing for ten minutes, but never because
of not coughing for ten minutes. Please be kind, stop it completely. Just be a
corpse for those ten minutes.
When I say, "Stop!"
stop completely; just freeze. Otherwise all is useless. The energy arises but
it does not get an opportunity to work on you; and you, having happily
dissipated it in coughing and the like, return home. Then you come to tell me
that nothing happened! You coughed - is that not enough to happen? They come to
tell me that meditation did not happen to them and I know that they were
coughing the whole time. Now even the poor meditation is being blamed!
Establish a little mastery.
When I say, "Quiet," then there should be such a pin-drop silence
here as if not a single person is here, as if all have disappeared. Only then
the results....
Also, when I begin to speak in
English you cannot get up. Just sit down where you are. Behave at least with
some understanding.
When I am speaking in Hindi,
those who do not understand Hindi are sitting peacefully. And when I begin to
speak in English, those who do not understand English simply get up and leave.
This indicates great impatience and idiocy. There are about fifty Western
friends here. They are also here sitting and listening. Just look at their
faces. When I am speaking in Hindi, just look at their faces. They seem to be
understanding even more deeply than you are. Why?
They do not understand the
language at all, but they have this much patience - "We may not be able to
understand, but something significant is being said; so let us just sit quietly
and hear it." They are not able to understand, but this silence of one
hour will definitely be beneficial. They will not be able to understand, yet
being patient for one hour is nothing but meditation. But no sooner do I begin
to speak in English than you are up and moving. It means that neither you have
any patience, nor is silent awaiting happening, nor have you any concern about
the disturbance you cause to others.
Please think!
A poet friend of mine, an Urdu
poet, had been to Sweden. He was telling me that when he would recite his poems
in Urdu nobody would understand but thousands of people would be sitting
silently.
He told me, "I was very
surprised. I had thought that nobody would come to listen to me, or if they
did, they would soon go away." So he asked them, "You don't
understand the language, so how can you sit so silently while I am
reciting?" They replied, "This is true that we don't understand what
you are saying, but when you are reciting with such feeling we do understand
your eyes, your gestures, the movements of your hands, and we know that
something very significant and deep is being said.
So, at least we can show that
much courtesy so as not to disturb you in that feeling, that state of
yours."
So this won't do! At night, I
see some outsiders come here, and the moment I begin to speak in English they
start leaving. Tonight no one will be allowed to leave like that. If someone
gets up to leave near you, immediately ask him to sit down. And if they still
leave, from tomorrow night onwards I am not going to allow them in here. I
shall announce before I begin to speak in Hindi that those who want to leave
during the English part should leave now.
Life needs to be given a
discipline, an orderliness, otherwise nothing will happen.
Enough for today.
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