From Sex to Superconsciousness
Chapter 3. Sex - The Pinnacle of Meditation
I resume my talk with a small
tale. Many, many years ago, in a certain country, there was a young and famous
painter. He decided to create a truly great portrait, a lively portrait full of
the joy of God, a portrait of a man whose eyes radiated eternal peace. And so,
he set out to find someone whose face reflected that eternal, ethereal light.
The artist roamed from
village to village, from jungle to jungle, in search of his subject, and at
long last he came across a shepherd with shining eyes, with a face and features
that held the promise of some celestial home. One look was enough to convince
him that God was present in this young man.
The artist painted a portrait
of the young shepherd. Millions of copies of the portrait were made and it sold
far and wide. People felt great gratitude, just being able to hang the picture
on their walls.
After a spell of some twenty
years, when the artist had grown old, he decided to paint another portrait. His
experience had shown him that life is not all goodness, that Satan also exists
in man.
The idea of painting a
picture of Satan persisted; were he to fulfill the project, then the two
pictures would complement each other, would show the complete man. He had
already done a painting of godliness; now he wanted to portray evil incarnate.
He sought a man who was not a
man but Satan. He went to gambling dens, to bars and to madhouses. This subject
had to be full of hell's fire; his face had to show all that is evil, ugly and
sadistic.
After a long search, the
artist finally met a prisoner in a jail. The man had committed seven murders
and had been sentenced to be hanged in a few days. Hell was evident in the
man's eyes; they spouted hate. His face was the ugliest one could possibly hope
to find. The artist began to paint him.
When he had completed the
portrait he brought out his earlier picture and set it by the side of the new
painting for contrast. It was difficult to assess which was better from an
artistic point of view; both were marvelous. He stood, staring at both of them.
And then he heard a sob. He turned and saw the chained prisoner, crying. The
artist was bewildered. He asked, "My friend, why are you crying? Do these
pictures disturb you?"
The prisoner said, "I
have been trying to hide something from you all this time, but today I am lost.
You obviously do not know
that the first picture is also of me. Both portraits are of me. I am the same
shepherd you met twenty years ago in the hills. I cry for my downfall in the
last twenty years.
I have fallen from heaven to
hell, from God to Satan."
I do not know how true this
story is, but one thing is for certain: each man's life has two converse sides;
two portraits of everyone are possible. In every man both God and Satan exist;
in every man there is the possibility of heaven, and the possibility of hell. A
bouquet of beautiful roses can grow in man; a heap of mud can also pile up in
him. Every man swings between these two extremes.
Man can attain to either of
these extremes, but most people are inclined towards the infernal. Those
fortunate few who aspire to the eternal, who let godliness grow in them, are
rare. Can we succeed in making our lives temples of God? Can we also become
like the portrait that had the glimpse of God in it?
With this question I resume
today's talk. How can man become the reflection of God? How is it possible to
make man's life heaven, to make it fragrant, beautiful, harmonious? How is it
possible for man to know that which is deathless? How is it possible for man to
enter the temple of God?
In this context, the facts of
life indicate that all our progress, so far, has been in the opposite
direction.
In childhood we are in
heaven, but as we grow older, by and by we land in hell. The world of childhood
is full of innocence and purity, but we gradually begin traveling a road paved
with lies and treachery and by the time we are mature we are old - not only
physically but also spiritually. Not only does the body become weak and infirm,
but the soul falls into a ruinous state as well. But we simply accept this; we
simply let the matter finish there. But we also finish ourselves.
Religion is fatalistic about
this question, about this downfall, about this journey from heaven to hell.
But this journey ought to be
reversed. This journey should be a rewarding one - from sorrow to joy, from
darkness to light, from mortality to immortality. Man's inner urge is to reach
the deathless from the deathbound; this is the thirst of man's innermost soul.
The soul's only search is to reach from the darkness to the light. The basic
drive of our primal energy is to reach from untruth to truth.
But for that voyage, man
needs to conserve his energy; he needs to allow his energy to grow. To scale
truth, to reach to the soul, man must strive to become a reservoir of limitless
strength; only then can he reach to the eternal. Heaven is not for the weak.
I repeat, heaven is not for
the weak. The truth of life is not for those who dissipate their energy, who
allow themselves to become feeble and frail. Those who squander life's
energies, who become insipid and impotent within, cannot undertake this expedition.
It requires great energy to scale the heights.
Conservation of energy is a
prime requisite of religion. But we are a weak, sick generation, and through
this loss of energy we are progressively sinking to weaker and weaker levels.
Our vitality is being drained away and all that is left inside is a honeycomb
of dry cells; nothing is left but a terrible emptiness. Our lives are one sad
continuous story of loss; our lives are not productive at all.
Why does this unattractive
situation exist? And how do we lose our energy?
The biggest outlet for man's
energy is sex. Sex is a continuous drain, and it should be stopped. No one
likes to lose anything, but as I told you earlier, there is an irresistible
reason why man overdraws on his energy so much. Because of the blissful glimpse
in sex, man is dragged, willy-nilly, into losing energy time and time again.
The luminescent but transient rapture that comes with sex has such a great
attraction for him that man is falling headlong into losing the very thing that
is the basis of everything.
If the same ecstasy were
available by some other means, would one not stop wasting one's energy through
sex? Is there any other way to obtain that same experience? Isn't there any
other way to realize the very same exalted experience where we fathom the
deeper-than-deep recesses of the soul, where we touch the highest peak of
existence, where we are given a revitalizing glimpse of subtle bliss and pure
joy, where all definitions and all limitations evaporate? Is there any other
way? Is there any technique for plunging into that serene abyss within
ourselves? Is there any other process for uniting with the eternal source of
peace and joy that exists in us all?
This knowledge will spark a
transformation in man. Then he will turn his back on Kama and will turn towards
Rama; then his journey will be "from lust to the Lord." Then an inner
revolution will take place; then a new door will open.
If man is not shown a new
door, he will continue to revolve in the same repetitive circle and will eventually
destroy himself. But man's backward idea of sex has prevented him from even
thinking about any other door, about any superior outlet. And a great and
disruptive chaos has been created in his life.
Nature has endowed man with
one door only, that of sex, but the teachings down the centuries have slammed
that door shut, have jammed that release. In the absence of an adequate outlet,
the swirling energy in man travels around and around, vainly pushing upwards:
disintegrating his personality, degenerating him, turning him into a neurotic.
Moreover, this disintegrated,
neurotic man cannot even utilize the natural door of sex, and the onrush of
energy from within shatters the walls and the windows of his being. As a
consequence it erupts, and man falls and cracks his head, stumbles and breaks
his arms and legs. Because it is confined by the closed, natural door, and
because the supernatural door is not yet open, man's sex energy flows out
through unnatural outlets. This is man's greatest misfortune. No new door has
been opened yet, and the old door is already closed.
This is why I am firmly
against the traditional teachings of enmity for, and suppression of, sex. It is
because of the old teachings that sexuality has not only grown in man but has
also become perverted. What is the remedy? Is there no other alternative?
Let us look at the situation
carefully. The realization that comes in the moment of orgasm consists of two
elements: egolessness and timelessness. Time freezes and the ego evaporates.
Because of the absence of the ego and the stoppage of time, one has a clear
vision of one's own self - of one's real self. But that glory is momentary, and
then we are back in the same old rut. And in the meantime we have lost a
considerable amount of energy.
The mind pines for that
illumination; the mind yearns to grasp it again, but that light, that
realization, is so transitory that we have scarcely glimpsed it when it
disappears. What remains then is an urge, an obsession, a deep anxiety to
achieve that experience again. Throughout the full span of his life, again and
again man tries to grasp that glimpse, that exhilarating experience, but it
never lingers.
There are two ways to attain
superconsciousness, to reach the essence of the inner self: sex and meditation.
Sex is the door provided by nature. Sex is the natural course: animals have it;
birds have it; plants have it; man has it. So long as man avails himself of
nature's door, he is not above the animals; he cannot rise above the animals.
That door is also accessible to them. The day man finds a new door can be
considered as the dawning of human-ness in him. Prior to that, we are not men;
prior to that, our center coincides with the animals' center, with nature's
center. Until we rise above this, until we transcend this, we are truly at the
level of the animals. In appearance we are men. We clothe ourselves like men;
we speak the language of men, but inside, at the core, at the center, we are
like animals. And we can be no more than that. That is the reason the animal in
us bursts forth at the first available opportunity.
During the commotion at the
time of the formation of India and Pakistan, we came to know that a carnivorous
animal lurks behind the mask of man. We came to know of what the people who
pray in the mosques and recite the Gita in the temples are capable: they loot;
they slaughter; they rape.
The very people who were seen
praying in the temples and mosques the day before were seen raping in the
streets. What had happened to them?
A man takes a holiday from
being human whenever there's the slightest opportunity to let his obligations
go - and the animal, ever ready in him, springs forth. The animal is always
anxious for free rein. And man is always tense - curbing this animal, chaining
it.
In a crowd, in a group, a man
finds the opportunity to throw off his adopted garb of humanity and to forget
himself. In a crowd, he develops the courage to forget himself, to forget the
real identity he has been restraining. The animal is released. As an individual,
no man has committed as many sins as he has in a crowd. A solitary man is a bit
afraid someone may recognize him; he worries about what he is wearing. A
solitary man will think first about what he is going to do; he is afraid others
may call him an animal. But in the midst of a big crowd of people a man loses
his identity; he is not worried about being spotted at all. Then he is part and
parcel of the mass; then he does what the people around him are doing.
And what does he do? He hurls
stones, he starts fires, he commits rape. As part of the mob, he seizes the
opportunity to set his animal free. And that is why, every five to ten years,
man is anxious for war, why he is always lying in wait, hoping for a riot to
break out. If it is under the pretext of a Hindu-Moslem problem it is fine with
him. If not, a Gujarati-Marathi cause will also suit his purpose.
If the Gujaratis and Marathis
are not ripe for rioting, then a conflict between Hindi-speaking and non-Hindi
speaking people will satisfy him. He needs an excuse, any excuse, to free the
insatiable beast within.
The animal in man is
frustrated by constant bondage; it is howling to get out. But unless this
animal is vanquished, destroyed, man's consciousness can never rise above
bestiality.
Our nature, our life-force,
our energy, has only one easy outlet, and that outlet is sex. Sealing that
channel will create problems, so before sealing it, it is very important to
throw open a new door so that the energy can be diverted in a new direction.
This is possible, but it has not yet happened for the simple reason that
repression is much easier than transformation. It is easier to cover a thing,
to sit upon it, than to tackle it, than to transform it - because the latter
demands the effort of a sadhana, of a steady course of meditative action.
Hence, we have chosen the internal repression of sex.
At the same time, we are
unaware that nothing can be destroyed by suppression; on the contrary, it is
strengthened as a reaction. We also forget that repressing something intensifies
our attraction for it. That which we repress not only becomes the center of our
consciousness but also sinks into the deeper layers of our subconscious. We may
repress it during our waking hours, but at night it flashes across our dreams.
Inside it waits, anxious to lash out at the slightest opportunity.
Repression will not free man
from anything; on the contrary, its roots will go deep into his subconscious
and trap him as a consequence. In the process of trying to stamp out sex, man
has entangled himself; he has become trapped.
Although animals have their
limits and their periods, man has neither. Man is sexual each hour throughout
the year. Without exception, no animal in the animal kingdom is sexual to this
degree.
Animals have a specific time for
it, a period, a season; it comes and it goes. And afterwards an animal doesn't
think about it again. But look at what has happened to man. The thing which man
has tried to repress, has tried to suppress, shoots up throughout his life. It
is an ever-active volcano.
Have you ever observed that
no animal is sexual all the time, but that man leans toward sex in each and
every situation? Sexuality fumes inside man, as if sex were all and everything
in life. How has this perversion come about? How has this disaster occurred?
Why hasn't it happened to any animal? There is only one cause: man has done his
utmost to suppress sex. And it has erupted throughout his personality in equal
measure.
And think of what we have
done to suppress sex! We have had to develop an insulting attitude toward it;
we have had to degrade it; we have had to abuse it. We have had to call it sin;
we have had to shout from the rooftops, "Sex is sin!" We have had to
proclaim that those who indulge in sex are contemptible, are to be despised. We
have had to invent countless degrading names for sex in order to justify our
suppression of it. But we have never worried for a moment that these abuses and
objections would eventually poison our entire beings.
Nietzsche once made a very
meaningful statement. He said that although religion had tried to kill sex by
poisoning it, that sex was not dead, but still alive and full of poison. It
would have been better had it died, but it was not to be; it was poisoned but
yet it lived on. The device misfired. The sexuality we see around us today - is
the epitome of poisoned sex.
Sex also exists in animals
because sex is the source of life, but sexuality only exists in man. There is
no sexuality in animals. Look into the eyes of an animal; you will not find lust
there. But if you look into a man's eyes you will see nothing but lust; nothing
but the gross desire for sex. And so, today, animals are beautiful in a way,
but there is no limit to the ugliness and stench of man, the mad repressor.
As a first step in freeing
man from sexuality, children - both boys and girls - should, as I told you
yesterday, receive instruction in the subject of sex. In addition to their
being given this knowledge, the ugly and unnatural distance between them should
be erased. As a matter of fact, they should be brought much nearer; this
segregation is completely unnatural.
Men and women have become
altogether different species. By looking at the separation, at the man-made
compartments between them, it is difficult to believe that men and women are of
the same kind, that they are both part of mankind. If boys and girls were free
to move about the house without clothes, as and when they liked, it would nip
in the bud the obscene and unnatural curiosity that develops at a later age. We
already know full well how this ignorance of each other's bodies shows up in
the inquisitiveness of children: look how all children of civilized men love to
play "doctor."
Furthermore, I wonder if you
know about a new movement initiated by a segment of American society, all
so-called religious people. Their aim is to stop dogs, cats, horses and other
animals being taken out unclothed; they want them to be dressed before they are
taken into the streets. The idea behind it is that children may become
corrupted if they look at naked animals. How funny it is to think of a child
being corrupted by seeing a naked animal! But anyway, they are forming an
association to ban unclothed animals from the streets. See how many things are
being done to save mankind!
These so-called saviors are
the very people who are destroying man. Have you never noticed just how
wonderful and how beautiful the animals are, even unclothed? Even in their
nakedness they are innocent, simple and plain. You rarely ever think of an
animal as being naked, and you will never see animals as naked unless you are
hiding your own nakedness inside you! But those who are afraid and those who
are cowards will try anything and everything to compensate for their own fear
of nakedness. Because of the invention of such remedies, mankind is
degenerating, day by day.
Man ought to be so simple
that he can stand up naked, unclad, innocent and full of bliss. A person like
Mahavir undertook to stand up unclothed and, likewise, every man should cultivate
a mentality whereby he could also stand up unclothed. People, so-called
religious people, say that Mahavir discarded clothes, that he abandoned wearing
garments. But I deny this. His chitta, his consciousness, became so clear, so
innocent - as pure as that of a child - that he rose up, nude, to face the
world. When there is nothing at all left to conceal, a man can lay himself
bare.
Man covers himself because he
feels there is something inside that needs to be hushed up. But when there is
nothing to hide, one need not even put up with clothes. There is a great need
for the kind of world where every individual will be so guiltless, so pure of
mind and so serene that he will be able to discard his clothes.
Where is the crime? What is
the danger in being naked?
It is a different matter if
clothes are worn for other reasons, but if they are worn solely out of one's
fear of nakedness then this is contemptuous. Wearing clothes because of a dread
of nakedness is indicative of a greater nakedness, is proof of a contaminated
mind. But today we feel guilty even wearing clothes, as if we still haven't
been able to scrub away the existence of our inner nudity.
Ah! God is so childish! He
could so easily have created man with clothes.
By the way, please do not
conclude that I am against the wearing of clothes. But I make no bones about
stating that clothes worn out of sheer fear of nakedness do not cover
nakedness; rather, they uncover it. This unnatural awareness of nakedness is
contemptible, and degenerating. And this awareness has been decreed by a long
social tradition.
A person can seem naked
wearing clothes and a nude person can appear to be clothed. Is it necessary to
elaborate further on this point after seeing the modern, skin-tight clothes for
both men and women? This is the outcome of an unsatisfied desire to leer at and
to display the body. If men and women were familiar with each other's bodies,
clothes would automatically serve no other purpose than to protect the body.
But alas, nowadays, clothes are designed to arouse sexuality.
Where is man's civilization
going when clothes are no longer clothes but aids to sexuality? This is why I
advocate letting children remain nude up to a certain age. They should
understand that the necessity for clothes has to do with something other than
sex!
Moreover, the concept of
nakedness is a subjective one. To a simple mind, to an innocent mind, nudity is
not offensive; it has its own beauty. But up to now, man has been fed on
poison, and gradually, with the passage of time, this poison has spread from
one pole of his existence to the other. Consequently, our attitude to nakedness
is completely unnatural.
When I spoke on this topic at
the first meeting, at the Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan Auditorium, a lady came to me
and said, "I am very upset. I am very angry with you. Sex is a scandalous
subject. Sex is sin. Why did you speak about it at such length? I really
despise sex."
Now, you see, this lady
despises sex although she is a married woman with sons and daughters.
How can she love the husband
who leads her into sex? How can she love those children who have been born out
of sex? Her attitude to life is permeated with poison; her love will remain
poisonous.
And so there is bound to be a
basic and deep rift between this woman and her husband. There will also be a
fence of thorns between her and her children because the latter, to her, are
the fruits of sin.
The relationship between her
and her husband is sin-oriented; she is haunted by an unconscious guilt complex
where sex is concerned. Can one live in harmony with sin?
Those who slander sex have
disturbed everyone's marital life. Instead of affording any kind of
deliverance, this disruptive attitude against sex has had deeply injurious
effects. The man who meets with an invisible barrier between himself and his
wife can never feel content with her: he will look around for other women; he
will go to prostitutes. All the women in the world could have been like sisters
and mothers to him had he received full gratification at home, but because of
its absence, he will now see all women as potential wives, always after
something. It is but natural; it had to be so. He finds poison, repulsion, and
talk of sin where he ought to have been blessed with bliss, with ecstasy and
serenity. His basic needs are not met at home and so he roams everywhere,
searching for satisfaction in every nook and corner. And what has man not
invented to meet those basic needs! You would be amazed if we tried to list all
the devices he has come up with.
Man has gone out of his way
to devise many, many tricks but he has never thought carefully about the basic
drawback. Now that which was a lagoon of love has become a pool of sex, and the
pool is poisoned. And when there is an acute sense of sin, of poison; when
there is a feeling of hesitation between husband and wife, this guilty approach
ends the possibility of any growth in their lives together.
As I understand it, if a
husband and wife can try to appreciate sex in harmony and with an understanding
love towards each other, with a feeling of pure joy and without any sense of
gloom, then their relationship can be transformed, elevated. And after this, it
is possible that the wife, the same wife, will be there, but she will be in the
form of a mother!
I have heard that Gandhi's
wife, Kasturba, once went to Ceylon with Gandhiji and his party. In his
welcoming speech, the host said how very fortunate they were to be honored by
the presence of Gandhiji's mother, who was accompanying Mr. Gandhi on his trip
and was seated beside him.
Gandhiji's secretary was
floored. The mistake was his; beforehand, he ought to have introduced the
members of the party to the organizers. But then it was too late: Gandhiji was
already facing the mike and had begun his speech. The secretary feared the
rebuke he might get from Gandhiji afterwards, but he did not know that Gandhiji
would not be angry with him at all, because the woman who is able to change
from wife into mother is very rare indeed.
Gandhiji said, "It is a
happy coincidence that the friend who introduced me has, by mistake, spoken the
truth. In the last few years Kasturba has truly become my mother. At one time
she was my wife, but now she is my mother."
Together, this can happen. If
a husband and wife put a bit of effort into examining their sexual life
together, they can become friends and can help each other transform sex. And
the day a husband and wife succeed in transforming sex, a feeling of
overwhelming gratitude is born between them. But nowadays there is nothing but
a subtle and inborn enmity between husbands and wives. A constant tussle
exists; never a serene friendship.
A sense of profound
gratification is born between husband and wife when each serves as a medium to
transform the sexual desires of the other. A true friendship flowers when they
become partners in ascendancy, in the transcendence of sex. That day, the man
is filled with respect for the woman because she has helped him gain
deliverance from lust; that day, the woman is filled with gratitude towards the
man for freeing her from passion. From that day on, they live in the true
harmony of love, and no longer in lust. This is the beginning of that voyage
whereby the husband becomes God for his wife and the wife becomes a deity for
her husband. But that possibility has been poisoned.
I stated yesterday that it is
difficult to find a greater enemy of sex than I am. I do not mean to imply that
I abuse or reproach sex; I said it apprehensively, as a guide in the direction
of transcendence, as an indication of how lust can be transformed. I am an
enemy of sex in the sense that I favor the transformation of coal into
diamonds. I wish to transform sex.
How can this be done? What is
the procedure?
I say that another door must
be opened, a new door.
Sex does not rear its head as
soon as a child is born. The body gathers energy, the cells gain strength, and
still there is time before the full-fledged development of the body takes
place. The energy will slowly muster itself, and then it will push open a door
that has been shut for the first fourteen years - and this is the child's
introduction into the world of sex.
Once one door is open it is
very difficult to open a new door. Because of the nature of the life-force,
one's full vitality, one's entire energy, rushes along in the direction it has
forced open. Once the Ganges has set its course it continues to flow along it;
it does not seek out a new course every day.
Fresh water may pour in
daily, but it will continue to flow through the same channel. Similarly, man's
life-force digs out a course for itself and then continues to travel it.
If man is to be cured of
sexuality, it is very important to create a new opening before the door of sex
opens. That new opening is meditation.
Each child in his tender years
should be taught meditation, should be instructed in meditation. False
teachings against sex should be abolished, and meditation should be taught.
Meditation is a positive door; it is a higher opening. A choice between sex and
meditation must be made, and meditation is the superior alternative. Do not
condemn sex; teach children to meditate.
Being opposed to teaching
children about sex only alerts them to its existence. And this is a highly
dangerous approach. Later, it leads to the perversions of immature sexuality.
As yet, when no door has opened, when both the doors are shut, when the energy
is still safe, either door can be pushed open - but this constant harping
against sex is like knocking on sex's door.
A supple young plant can be
bent in any direction; it can also bow humbly of its own accord. But as it
grows, it hardens. If you try to bend it then, it will become misshapen, it
will break. The case here is the same.
It is very difficult to
attain the state of meditation when one is older. Older people trying
meditation is like sowing seeds after the season is over. The seed of
meditation can easily be sown in children, but man, as he is, only shows
interest in meditation towards the end of his life. He is anxious to meditate
then - when his energy has ebbed, when all the possibilities of progress have
dried up.
Only then does he inquire
about meditation and yoga. He wants to reform himself when the die has already
been cast, when transformation is very difficult indeed. A man with one foot in
the grave asks if anything can be done to attain freedom through meditation.
This is strange. The notion is quite mad.
This planet can never be at
peace until we launch a journey into meditation in every young mind. But it is
futile to try this with people who are at the end of the road, with people who
are in the evening of their lives. Even if it were to be attempted by them it
would demand enormous effort and, also, would not be to much advantage. But it
could have been achieved had it been attempted earlier in life, when it does
not call for so much effort.
So the first step towards the
transformation of sex is to begin meditation in small children - to coach them
to be calm and to keep their own counsel, to teach them to be silent and to
enlighten them about the state of no-mind. Although children are already calm
and peaceful by adult standards, if they were guided in the right direction and
taught to practice reticence and serenity even for a little while each day, a
new door would open before they were fourteen years of age. Then, when sex
rears its head, when the energy wells up and is about to spill over, it would
flow through the new door that has already been opened. They would already have
realized the serenity, the bliss, the joy, the timelessness and egolessness of
meditation long before the experience of sex. This familiarity would prevent
their energy from moving into wrong channels; it would divert it onto the right
path.
Instead of teaching the
tranquility of meditation, we teach children to abhor sex. "Sex is sin,
sex is dirty," we say. We tell them it is ugly and bad; we say that it is
hell. But name-calling does nothing whatsoever to alter the actual situation.
On the contrary, children become curious; they want to know more about this
hell, about this evil, about this dirty thing that makes their parents and
teachers afraid and panic-stricken. They look anywhere and everywhere for the
answer; they are anxious to understand what the commotion is all about.
And within a very short time,
children come to know that their parents themselves are engaged in the very
same pursuit; day and night, their parents are doing the very thing they are
not allowed to know anything about. The instant and automatic result of the
discovery of this fact is the end of their admiration for their parents. Modern
education is not responsible, as it is generally believed, for the great
decrease in the reverence for parents; the parents themselves are to blame for
this. Children quickly observe the paradox; they soon come to know that their
parents are completely submerged in the very thing they are being taught to
hate.
Children are very acute
observers. They see that your night-life is different from your day-life, that
your preachings and your practices differ widely. They see what goes on in the
house. Despite what father calls "dirty" and mother calls
"bad," they see that the same things are afoot at home. They
understand what is happening and, this being the case, lose all reverence for
their parents. Parents are tricky, hypocrites, the children conclude.
And remember, children who
have lost their faith in their parents will never be able to develop any faith
in God. Children have their first glimpse of faith, their first glimpse of God,
through their parents.
If this faith is shattered,
they will surely grow up to be atheists. Children have their first recognition
of God in the righteousness of their parents, and if that proves to be
illusory, it will be difficult to turn those children to God. The rapport
between them and God will be broken because their first deities betrayed them,
because their mother and father proved to be dishonorable.
Today, the modern younger
generation denies the existence of God, ridicules the idea of liberation and
calls religion humbug, not because they have searched for themselves and
therefore arrived at their own conclusions, but because of this betrayal by
their parents. Their parents have exiled them to lives of cynicism.
This feeling of betrayal has
come about because sex has been wrongly represented by their elders.
It should be openly explained
to them that sex is part and parcel of life, that we are all born out of sex,
and that sex is also part of their lives. This will help them to understand
their parents' behavior in its proper perspective, and when they grow and
experience life for themselves they will be filled with reverence for the
honesty of their parents. The beginning, in a child, of this faith and
reverence will lay the foundation for a religious life. Children today suspect
that their parents are hypocrites; hence the present ideological clash between
the younger and the older generations. The suppression of sex has separated
husband from wife and has set children against their parents.
We do not need this
repression of sex; clarification of sex is the need of the hour. As soon as
children mature, as soon as they inquire, parents should lay the principal
facts of life before them in a palatable manner. This ought to be done before
children become unnecessarily or harmfully curious, before they begin to
nurture unhealthy attractions that can lead them to satisfy their curiosities
in wrong quarters. Otherwise, as is the case today, children find out what they
want to know, but they find it out from the wrong people, they find it out
under abnormal conditions and through dangerous practices. These ways are
detrimental and ruinous. The results pain and torture them for the rest of
their lives, and ultimately a wall of shame and secrecy exists between children
and their parents.
Parents never know about the
sex lives of their children, just as children are ignorant of the sex lives of
their parents. The alienation that results from this game of hide-and-seek is
very dangerous indeed. Children must be properly educated about sex; they must
be given the right education.
Secondly, children should be
taught to meditate - how to remain calm, serene, silent; how to reach the state
of no-mind. Children can learn to accomplish this very, very quickly. Every
home should have a scheduled program to help children move into silence. And
that will only be possible, when you, as parents, also practice with them. A
daily hour of sitting silently should be compulsory in every home. One should
even do away with a meal if necessary, but an hour of silence must be observed
at all costs. It is wrong to call that house a home where an hour of silence
isn't observed daily. It can not even be called a family.
A daily hour of silence will
conserve energy. And then, at the age of fourteen, it will surge in a tide and
push open the door of meditation - that state of meditation where man touches
timelessness and egolessness, where he glimpses the soul, where he glimpses the
Supreme. A meeting with that summit before the experience of sex would put a
stop to the mad rush after sex; the energy would have found a better, more
blissful, more exalted path.
This is the first stage in
the process of celibacy: to transcend sex. And the way is meditation.
The second fundamental is
love. Children should be taught love from infancy. The common fear is that
teaching love will lead man into the labyrinths of sex. But this fear is
groundless. Teaching sex can lead man to love, but teaching love will never
drag him into sexuality. The truth is at odds with the general belief. The energy
of sex is transformed into love.
A man is able to spread love
to those around him in direct proportion to the love that grows within him.
Those who are empty of love are filled with sex. And sex-minded they remain.
The less a man loves, the more he hates; the less love there is in a man's
life, the more spiteful his life will be. And those who are devoid of love are
filled with jealousy to the same degree. The less a man loves, the more strife
he will know. People are worried and unhappy in direct proportion to the lack
of love in their lives. And the more a man is engulfed by worry, jealousy,
vanity, lies and the like, the more his energies will weaken, will become frail
and feeble; he will be tense all the time. And the only outlet for this crude,
crass, low and debased group of emotions is sex.
Love transforms energies.
Love is fluid, creative, flowing; it fulfills. And the gratification of love is
much deeper and much more valuable than that obtained through sex. One who
knows that contentment will never look for any substitute, just as the man who
acquires jewels will never search for stones.
But a man full of hate can
never find contentment. He is always restless; he destroys everything in his
path. And destruction never brings happiness; only creation can shower a man
with a feeling of gratification. A man full of jealousy is belligerent and
competitive, but being like this never brings contentment. An aggressive man
only encroaches upon others.
Bliss can only be attained by
giving, never by taking. Grabbing and hoarding everything in sight will never
bring peace of mind, but it can be had by giving, by beneficial distribution.
An ambitious man hops from one post to another; he is never at peace - but
those who are not after power but are in pursuit of love, those who distribute
love anywhere and everywhere, live in exalted bliss. As full of love as a man
is, such is the depth of the contentment, of the deep satisfaction, of the joy,
of the sense of achievement he will find in his heart of hearts. Such an
enlightened man will not bother with sex; he will not even have to try not to
look in its direction. Because the contentment and bliss to be found in sex is
perpetually available to him from love.
The next motto: grow to the
fullness of love. We should adore love; we should bestow love; we should live
in love. But to love other men alone is not the name of the game; to be devoted
to love is to replenish one's whole personality with love. I am speaking of a
total education in loving. We should be able to pick up a stone as if we were
lifting a friend; we should be able to shake hands with an enemy as if we were
holding the hand of a friend.
Some men handle material
things with loving care, while some give other men the kind of treatment that
should not even be handed out to non-living things. To a man preoccupied with
hate, humans are no better than inanimate objects; but a man full of love even
imparts an individuality, a personality, to everything he touches.
A learned traveler once came
to see a celebrated fakir. For some reason the man was upset, probably because
of a difficult journey, and he angrily undid his shoelaces, tossed his shoes
into a corner and pushed the door open with a heavy thud.
In anger, a man will take off
his shoes as if the shoes were his worst enemy. He will even open a door as if
there were great hostility between him and the door. The man threw open the
door, went in, and offered his respects to the fakir.
The fakir said, "No, I
do not accept your homage. First go and apologize to the door and to the
shoes."
"What is wrong with
you?" he asked. "Apologize to a door? And to a pair of shoes? Why?
Are they alive?"
The fakir replied, "You
didn't consider that when you took your anger out on those inanimate objects.
You dashed the shoes down as
if they had been guilty of something, and you opened the door in such a fashion
that it seemed to be your enemy. When you can acknowledge their individuality
by taking out your anger on them, you should also be prepared to beg their
pardon. Please go and offer them your apologies. Otherwise, I am not inclined
to continue this interview with you."
The traveler figured that
since he had come so far to meet this illustrious fakir, it would be ridiculous
to end the conversation over such a trivial matter, so he went to the shoes and
with folded hands, said, "Friends, pardon my insolence." To the door
he said, "Sorry. It was a mistake to push you like that in anger."
What a moment for him!
In his memoirs the traveler
has written that he felt very ridiculous at first, but that when he had
finished making his apologies something new had dawned in him: he felt so calm,
so serene, so peaceful. It was beyond his wildest imaginings that a man could
feel so quiet, so collected and so joyful just by asking forgiveness of a door
and a pair of shoes.
After he had made his
apologies, he went in and sat down by the fakir, who began to laugh and said,
"Now it is okay. Now you are attuned. Now we can talk. Now you have shown
some love and are unburdened. Now there can be a rapport between us."
The principle is not just to
love human beings alone, it is a question of being filled with love.
To say one should love his
mother is wrong; it is a misrepresentation. If a father asks his child to love
him just because he is his father it is deception; he is giving a reason for
love. Similarly, if a mother tells her child he must love her for the simple
reason that she is his mother, it is an imposition. The love that has the strings
of "because" and "therefore" attached to it is misnamed.
Love should be motiveless; it should not be bogged down with reasons. The
mother says, "I looked after you; I brought you up, therefore love
me." She is giving a reason. And there, love ends. If a child is forced,
he may unwillingly show some affection because she is his mother, but the aim
of teaching love is not to force the child to express love for some reason, but
to create an environment in which the child will be full of love.
It must be brought home to
you that a child's growth, his whole personality, his entire future, depends on
this joy at being loving to anybody or anything he meets - be it a stone, a
human being, a flower, an animal, whatever. The point is not just to love an
animal or a flower or his mother or someone else, the whole point is for the
child to be full of love. On this depends not only his future, but the future
of mankind. The tremendous possibilities for the flowering of joy and of
happiness in a man's life depend on how much love there is inside him. A loving
man can also be freed from sexuality.
But we do not bestow love; we
have no zeal for love.
Do you think a man can love
one person and hate another at the same time? No, it is impossible.
A loving man, even when he is
alone, is full of love because love is his nature; it has nothing to do with
your relationship to him. An angry man is angry even when he is alone; a man
full of hate hates even when he is alone. Observe such a man when he is alone
and you will feel his anger even though he may not be showing his anger to
anyone in particular at the time. His whole being simply overflows with hate,
with anger. Conversely, if you see a love-filled man, you can feel him brimming
over with love even when he is alone.
Flowers blooming in the
jungle spread their fragrance whether there is anyone there to appreciate it or
not, whether anyone is passing by or not. To be fragrant is a flower's nature.
Do not be under the illusion that a flower emits its fragrance just for you!
People should simply be full
of love; it should not depend on "with whom." But the lover wants the
beloved to love only him, to love no one else. "Love me alone," he
says, but he does not know that those who cannot love all cannot love one. The
wife says her husband should love only her and not show affection to anybody
else, but she does not realize that such love is false and that she has caused
it to be so. How can a husband who is not always full of love for everybody be
loving towards his wife?
To be loving is the nature of
life. One cannot be full of love for one person and devoid of love for everyone
else. But mankind hasn't been able to see this simple truth. The father asks
the child to love him, but has he ever taught the child to love the old servant
in the house? Isn't he a man too?
The servant may be old, but
he may also be someone's father. No, he is just a servant, and so there is no
question of being courteous or loving towards him. But this father does not
realize that when he has grown old he will complain when his sons do not show
him any affection. His sons could have grown into men filled with love had they
been taught to love all. And then they would have revered their old father as
well.
Love is not a relationship,
love is a state of mind. It is an essential component of a man's personality.
Therefore, the second stage
in the teaching of love is to teach the child to love all. If a child does not
even replace a book properly, his attention should be drawn to the fact that it
is unseemly to replace the book that way. He should be made aware of what
people will think of him if he treats the book in that fashion. If you have
behaved brutally, even to your dog, it indicates a shortcoming in your
personality; it is proof that you are devoid of love. And one who is not full
of love is not a man at all.
I recall the story of a fakir
who lived in a small hut. One night, about midnight, it was raining heavily and
the fakir and his wife were asleep. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door:
someone wanted shelter.
The fakir woke his wife.
"Somebody is outside," he said. "Some traveler, some unknown
friend."
Have you noticed? He said,
"Some unknown friend." You do not even befriend those you know. His
attitude was one of love.
The fakir said, "Some unknown
friend is waiting outside. Please open the door."
His wife said, "There is
no room. There is not even enough room for the two of us. How can one more
person come in?"
The fakir replied, "My
dear, this is not the palace of a rich man. It cannot become any smaller. A
rich man's palace seems smaller if even one more guest arrives, but this is the
hut of a poor man."
His wife asked, "How
does the question of poor and rich come into this? The plain fact is that this
is a very small hut!"
The fakir answered, "If
there is enough room in your heart, you will feel that this hut is a palace,
but if your heart is narrow, even a palace would seem small. Please open the
door. How can we refuse a man who has come to our door? Up to now, we have been
lying down. Three may not be able to lie down, but at least three can sit.
There is room for another if we all sit."
The wife had to open the
door. The man came in, soaking wet. They sat together and started to chat.
After a while, two more people came and knocked on the door.
The fakir said, "It
seems someone else has come," and asked the guest sitting nearest the door
to open it. The man said, "Open the door? There is no space." The
man, who had himself taken shelter in this hut moments before, forgot that it
was not the fakir's love for him that had given him a place, but that he had
found shelter because there was love in the hut. And now, some new people had
come. And love must accommodate the newcomers.
But the man said, "No,
it is not necessary to open the door. Don't you see the difficulty we're
having, squatting here?"
The fakir said, "My dear
man, didn't I make room for you? You were allowed in because there is love
here. It is still here; it has not ended with you. Open the door, please. Now
we are sitting apart from each other, so we will simply huddle together.
Moreover, the night is cold and it will give us warmth and pleasure to sit so
snugly together."
The door was opened and the
two newcomers came in. They all sat together and began to get acquainted.
Then, a donkey came and
pushed at the door with its head. The donkey was wet; it wanted shelter for the
night. The fakir asked one of the men, who was almost sitting on top of the door,
to open it.
"Some new friend has
come," the fakir said.
Peeking outside, the man
said, "This isn't a friend or anything like a friend. It's just an ass.
It's not necessary to open up."
The fakir said, "Perhaps
you are not aware that at the door of the rich, men are treated as animals, but
this is the hut of a poor fakir and we are accustomed to treating even animals
as human beings.
Please open the door."
In unison, the men groaned,
"But the space?"
"There is plenty of
space. Instead of sitting, we can all stand. Don't be upset. If it becomes
necessary, I will go outside and make enough room."
Can love not do this much as
well?
It is imperative to have a
heart full of love. A loving attitude is what we all should have.
Humanness is only born in a
man when he has a loving heart. And with a loving heart comes a feeling of deep
contentment, a deep and delightful contentment. Have you never noticed, after
you've shown a little love to someone, that a great wave of contentment, a
great thrill of joy pervades your entire being? Have you never realized that
the most serene moments of contentment were those which came in moments of
unconditional love?
Pure love can only survive if
it is not adulterated by conditions; a conditional love is not love. Have you
never had a feeling of contentment after having smiled at a stranger in the
street? Didn't a breeze of peace follow it? There is no limit to the wave of
tranquil joy you will feel when you lift a fallen man, when you support a
fallen person, when you present a sick man with flowers - but not when you do
it because he is your father or because she is your mother. No, the person may
not be anyone in particular to you, but simply to give a gift is itself a great
reward, a great pleasure.
Love should well up inside
you - love for plants, love for human beings, love for strangers, love for
foreigners, love for those on their way toward the moon and the stars. Your
love should be ever on the increase.
The possibility of sex in a
man's life lessens as love increases within him. Love and meditation will open
that door which is the door to God. Together, love and meditation touch God,
and then celibacy flowers in a man's life. Then the entire life-force ascends
through a new passage. Then it does not leak out gradually; then it never
recedes. The energy rises upwards from within; it rises on its voyage to
heaven. Our journey, at present, is towards the lower levels. By nature, the
energy only flows downward, into sex, but celibacy is the upward journey. And
love and meditation are the basic ingredients of celibacy.
Tomorrow, we will talk about
what we attain through celibacy. What do we acquire? To what heights does it
lead us?
Today I spoke to you of two
things: love and meditation. I told you that training should begin at the
infant stage, but you should not infer from this that since you are not
children any more nothing remains for you to do. In that case, my labors go to
waste. Whatsoever your age, this good work can be begun any day. Although it
becomes harder with the advent of age, the journey on this path can be
undertaken at any time of life. It is better to begin this journey in
childhood, but it is good to undertake it at any stage in life. You can begin
today. Older people who are willing to learn, who have an aptitude for
learning, are still children even if they are old in years. They, as well, can
start afresh; they, as well, can learn, if they haven't taken for granted that
they already know everything or that they have already achieved everything
desirable.
Gautam Buddha had a disciple
who had been a devotee for many years, and one day Buddha asked him,
"Monk, what is your age?"
The monk replied,
"Five."
Buddha was surprised.
"Five years old? You look at least seventy. What kind of answer is
this?"
The monk replied, "I say
this because the ray of meditation entered my life five years ago, and only in
the last five years has love showered in my life. Before that, my life was like
a dream; I existed in sleep. When counting my age I do not consider those years.
How can I? My real life only began five years ago. I am only five."
Buddha told all his disciples
to note the monk's answer well.
You should all count your
ages in this manner; this is the standard for calculating age. If love and
meditation are not yet born in you, your life, up to now, is negated; you are
not born yet. But it is never so late that you cannot start trying. We should
all strive for a higher life. And for that it is never too late.
So do not conclude from my
words, because you have passed through childhood, that this talk is meant for
future generations only. At no time has any man gone so far on the wrong path
that he cannot return to the right one; no man has become so wayward that he
cannot benefit from the true light.
Comparatively speaking, this
journey does not require much endeavor. The returns in accomplishment and
satisfaction at the dawn of enlightenment are much greater than any efforts you
have made. The mere glimpse of that ray of light, of that joy, of that truth,
gives us the feeling we have achieved such a lot with such little effort; it
shows us we have attained the invaluable with very insignificant efforts
indeed.
Please do not view my words
in the wrong frame of mind. This is my humble request to you all.
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